Satire: Covid-19 Mandates for Wild Animals

Breaking News!

The Unites States Government has announced that we are being required by the United Nations to hunt down and vaccinate all wild animals. Police will be setting up inter state barricades to make sure that all animals passing state lines have a mask on and a valid vaccine passport. All animals who do not have a vaccination passport will be required to live in a cage the shape of a house and watch television. The other choice is to give them the vaccine immediately on site and give them the proper documentation. The government has set up a program to ensure that these animals who are deported from the state boarder walls will have ample food that has at least the minimum amount of state required carcinogens. We must work with the government to ensure that we hunt down all the wild animals. It is for their own safety, and the greater good. If you would like to volunteer to help set up cameras in your local forests to check for unmasked animals, please reach out to your local police department. Your submission to this mandate is necessary in order for us to interfere with nature and lower our natural health and immunity. We are going to inject genetic material into the animals so their body starts to become a factory for the virus. We will need to put a tracking collar on the animals who refuse to stay in their jail homes so we can check every 6 months to make sure they have gotten their booster shots. If they try to take the collar off it will shock them. We need everyone to have fear in their hearts for this to work. We will arrest any animals that resist or question. Once we get the animals we will go after the trees, then the herbs, mushrooms, and then micro bacteria.


Humans are earthlings, not conquistador gods. Look at history, we have ALWAYS been part of the Earth! Are you an alien?

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